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Never Let a Bear Drive Your Car

When she went outside on a brisk morning in mid-September, Mary Randall got a rude surprise.

“I noticed the windshield wiper was hanging down and I went, ‘Hmm, that’s odd.'”

Odd doesn’t begin to describe it. Along with a broken wiper, the interior of Randall’s car – parked outside her home in the Sugarloaf area in the canyons above Boulder – had been completely destroyed by a scavenging bear.

“It looked like a bomb had gone off inside,” is the way Randall describes it. As you can see from the accompanying photos, that’s no exagerration. The black bear had climbed in to get at a 50 lb. bag of birdseed in the rear hatch area of the Audi station wagon, and apparently found herself trapped. Having gorged on the tasty bird snacks, she apparently went, well, bearshit. She also took the time to defecate all over the seats and floor before finally escaping.

The car was totaled. But Randall now has a great story to tell about the bear who had a party in her car – and trashed the place.

The photos:

The sandy debris in the rear of the wagon is birdseed that Randall left in the car overnight – a critical error as it turned out.

Note the claw marks on the steering wheel. Apparently bears can’t steer too well.

Before escaping the bear ripped apart the interior of Randall’s Audi wagon, including the door panels.

Randall theorizes that in tearing apart the dashboard the bear tripped the sunroof opener and managed to crawl out that way.

“At least he didn’t take the stereo,” sighs Randall.

Like many passengers, the bear was confused on just how the door handle works.

The bear relieved itself all over the car, making the carpets unsalvageable.

Once inside, the bear found itself unable to exit.

“It’s the most expensive bag of birdseed I’ve ever bought,” Randall laments.

About Richard Martin

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  1. umm…my bad. please leave keys next time.

  2. ….all that for some flippin’ birdseed. Woulda bin worth it for MEAT.
    Sorry about car, had a bit of a panic –

    –the Bear

  3. don whitcraft, seeley lake MONTANA !!!!!

    YUP, bears along with deer just love birdseed. Once a bear or a deer gets the taste of bird seed, they are looking for it over and over again. Most of the wild critters love to eat bird seed. I been wonderin myself,to a wild critter if the bird seed is kinda like POT seeds to humans?

    Sheeeiit, I came home one afternoon, My brothers Rott was laying on the porch. The bird feeder was only about 15 yards away, in a tree. I saw the top of the feeder swinging but, the bird feeder was gone. I walked over and, looked off the deck. A big ol’ black bear was having lunch on the feeder, the dog didn’t even smell him !!!! I did get a good picture of the bear sitting there eating bird seed though.