Just because Valentine’s Day is coming up doesn’t mean you should get hung up on romance. All that lovey-dovey stuff is an invention of the greeting card and diamond industries and does more to empty your wallet than fill your heart.
If you’re lonely and looking for a partner, honesty and practicality work stronger magic than a fistful of roses, at least that what I learned while interviewing Taos’ own mortgage broker and sometime lonely heart’s broker, Nancy Diamond. She has organized a singles mixer in town for Friday night where honest people who are looking for company can meet more of their own kind.
Diamond said it was honesty after all that helped her find a husband online. She said she started out trying to sound like a good-time girl but the quality of responses she got horrified her. So much so that she abandoned the process. When she came back to it later she resolved to tell it like it really was.
“I was trying to be a player,” Diamond said, “but I wanted to be married. I had to be painfully honest and let go of all the games. When I put out there exactly what I was looking for and hit the send button, I thought, ‘no one will respond to this’ but that is how I found my husband. You have to put your need out there. You’ve got to end the charade.”
Married now, Diamond still has a heart for other singles out there, especially the shy ones, the ones who don’t frequent bars or other player scenes. As a public service she took on organizing a singles mixer in Taos in time for the dreaded romantic holiday. Her original idea was to use a speed-dating format but that requires anonymity, something hard to come by in Taos.
“You can’t walk down the aisle at the store around here without running into someone you know,like it or not,” said Diamond.” In a small town you need a scorecard to see who’s related to whom but we have to look at each other with different eyes. You have to see who people really are, not ‘he’s someone’s ex or someone’s boyfriend.’”
I like her thinking and even though she is originally from back East, I think she has gotten into the practical Western frame of mind. Love was a thing, for us, that was supposed to be seen, not heard.
On my father’s side I had a great aunt who went with a girlfriend to Alaska during the gold rush. They were the daughters of pioneers who wanted practical husbands.
“In the gold fields I would dance with anyone,” my great Aunt Eunice once told me, “but if a man wanted to kiss me he’d have to marry me.” And that’s exactly what happened. After the gold rush Great Aunt Eunice came back to the mainland with Great Uncle Billy, an Englishman and a real charmer.
Just like my Aunt Eunice who got on a boat for Alaska, Diamond says we all have to make a leap of faith.
“Looking for love is like a game of darts,” she said, “the more you practice the closer you get to the bull’s eye.”
So, all you lonely Humbug hearts, never mind the romance just get yourself out there and tell the truth about what you want.
“Don’t complain, don’t whine, just show up. A lot of us are out there for the same reason, with no shame and no desperateness. The worst that could happen is that you piss away an evening.”
On Humbug Mountain you’re danged if you do and danged if you don’t so you might just as well do as Diamond says, “put on your big girl panties and get out there.” Guys, if you find a date for Valentine’s Day remember it’s faithfulness, not a diamond, that counts in the forever department though chocolate is never a bad idea.