Saturday, March 25, 2017
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Tag Archives: single

Falling in Love is Hard on the…Knees?

I hope all you Making It readers will give a warm welcome (back) to Beefcake. We're adding a dash of Missoula-male perspective into the sisters' take on life and love in the Garden City. Beefcake Wellington (someone whom, remarkably, we'd never met before his first guest column) seems more than ready to take on this task. Check out his hopeful happenings at one of Missoula's hottest spots for hot drinks, using nothing more than his brain, brawn, and (of course) a crossword puzzle. -Big Sis Last time I was up here in the spotlight I mentioned how my first-ever one-night stand didn’t really play out in the traditional way. Nutshell: my one-nighter left me empty and wanting more instead of feeling stoked and sufficiently sated. Whether or not I played that scenario right was open to some serious debate, but the cumulative effect it had was making me realize how much, after a while, it sucks to be single. I’m convinced—indeed I believe—people are built for community. We don’t do well on our own for too long. So, as you can imagine, after almost 8 months of being very much alone in a new town, I was ready for a little meaningful human contact outside of spit-swapping and sharing an ill-conceived morning-after breakfast. I decided to put myself on the offensive. I was ready to get off my ass and see what I could do about kicking my (admittedly self-imposed) solitary confinement to the curb. I kept my eyes open. I made advances I might not have in the previous months. I put myself out there. I was—to invoke a little Blues Brothers magic—on a mission from God.

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On “Vacation Mode” in Missoula, Shoving Inhibitions Under the Rug

I’m back in town and back in action. Ah, the Mexican vacation. I found sun, sea, solitude, serious relaxation, and some new friends. Yup, even a few of the male variety. I remembered why it’s FUN to be single. So, why, suddenly, did not just one but two men fall into my lap after only a week in Mexico when I haven’t had a date in Missoula since, oh, the very first snowfall? My extremely scientific hypothesis is: because I was “on vacation.” I’d like to suggest that vacations give us the excuse to shove our inhibitions under the rug. The real reason why I found some fun in the sun with single men is because I left my hang-ups at home. Plus, I left behind all the people who know about my hang-ups, and who may hold me accountable for bad decisions after the tequila fades. Tipsy skinny-dipping, one-night-stands, jumping off cliffs, and talking to strangers on rickety buses—all deviations from my normal behavior while I was in Mexico were explained away with a shrug, a smirk, and the universal explanation: “I’m on vacation.” And, upon my return, I realized this: Missoulians excel at exercising the “on vacation” mode without even leaving our Garden City.

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Concerning The Utah Commemorative Quarter

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Have you voted for the new Utah Commemorative Quarter? It's the usual lameness. Winter sports (recreation), beehive (industry), golden spike (uh...unity? Thoroughfare? Phallus?). Do these things really sum up our state? The winter sports coin depicts what appears to be trapper (or a hippie with a coonskin cap--although it could be a mullet. WVC represent!) on a snowboard getting grand air over the Rocky Mountains. It says "The World Is Welcome." Even the gays and the liberals, provided they bring their tourist ducats. Ostensibly the message is that the "world" should join Davey Mullet for extreme good times* in Utah. (*Extreme good times may be against our religion). Oh, the Beehive. Symbol of industry? Sure. Utah and Utahns are industrious. The beehive, however, is also unavoidably redolent of analogies to single-minded collectives--the Morg. Golden Spike. You know how many porn sites come up with you search "golden spike?" None. The Golden Spike, in case you forgot your Utah history (hey Mr. Willard, remember that time I hit you in the ass with a rubber band? Pow!), is the symbolic, final, not-quite pure gold nail that completed the world's first transcontinental railroad (incidentally, it was also called the First Transcontinental Railroad) at Promontory, Utah on May 10, 1869. Two weeks from tomorrow, that'll be 137 years ago. Old news, man. Seriously, though: juxtaposing a symbol of unity with Utah doesn't work when we're still bitterly divided between Mormons and non-Mormons and, on a national political level, severely out of skew with the nation. But in that division there is a brilliant, interesting, fun duality.

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